The one thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I have a God who loves me, watches over me and wants the best for me. I have someone who I can turn to when I’m in need, in pain or overcome with burdens and worries. I don’t want to imagine how it would be if I had to go through life without him, unable to turn to a God who is forever faithful and always there for me. Thanks for keeping me sane God.
We live our lives looking for someone to love and someone to love us back. Everyone has friends who are closer to them than others are, friends who one might care for more than others. We want to be around them and spend time with them, becoming closer as friends or even as something more. There are times when the attention is not returned as one would expect and one can be hurt by that. This situation should apply to God, where he is someone who we want to be around and spend time with. For many of us, this does not apply, ironically, when it should because we don’t treat God like someone we want attention from constantly. He should be someone that we want attention and love from constantly and everyday. The problem isn’t that the love and attention isn’t there, God gives it to us all the time. We however take what God gives us and stash it away for those times when we think that we really need it when, we actually need it everyday. The indifference that we have towards God’s gift is disrespectful, especially when we don’t deserve what God gives to us everyday. Everyday we should be clamoring for God’s attention, crying out to him for his love, grateful at the same time. It seems like we contradict ourselves when we do this, making attention and love from people more important than the love that is mercifully given to us everyday.
I miss tennis. a lot. :/ I miss volleying and serving and hitting cross-court and trying to peg people when you get bored haha. I remember when I would play every weekend with the same people and I was actually good lol. I left my racket in my car at home :’[…. I wish I had someone constant to play with, so that I would at least play every once in awhile.
Dear God, you take my burdens, worries and doubts. thank you.
Dear God, you know my wishes, desires and wants. please.
I feel like everything in my head and heart just melted away. I have to start over and build to what I had before this happened. before it all just went away and disappeared. I have to start somewhere and it’s gotta happen soon. Build up the faith and trust, the confidence and energy, all of the joy I had in God. Get the right mindset going in my head instead of this blank numb feeling in my head. A mindset where I know what the heck I’m doing and why I am doing it. So… go out and do it.
It’s gone. It’s just….. gone. It was turning out to be a good day but… now I’m left wondering what went on. I don’t know why I feel this way but it’s gone. There’s no push, desire or motivation. If anything, it’s something forced out because I need to. I wouldn’t survive without forcing myself to put up a wall. It doesn’t mean that it can’t come back but it sure ain’t here right now. I was so much stronger than this and I’m disappointed in myself that it’s like this. I haven’t been like this for awhile. it’s been A LONG TIME. maybe I have to learn to get through something like this. maybe I have to learn to lean on God during times like these, the times when I can’t even trust myself to do what needs to be done or to do the right things. It’s gone and now, IT’S back. I don’t know why it came back, I can’t think of any external reasons why it’s like this now. It shouldn’t be. Am I the reason why?
I wish I was good at something. Oh wait, I’m good at being good at nothing. aha.
"Get into the habit of dealing with God about everything. Unless in the first waking moment of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, you will work on a wrong level all day; but swing the door wide open and pray to your Father in secret, and every public thing will be stamped with the presence of God."
- Oswald Chambers
In every moment of your life, God should be involved in it, whether the moment is a good or a bad one. If the situation is a difficult one or one that you need help on, you should turn to God, trusting in him for any and everything. If the situation is a good one, one where you have been blessed, then turn to God, being grateful and thankful for everything that he has done for you. All of this starts once you wake up to start your day. If your day starts without God in mind, without him involved in it, then you end up working without God through the day. One way to involve God once you wake up is to thank him for allowing you to wake up and live another day even though we do not deserve it. Working without God throughout your day is a costly mistake, it costs you the opportunity to be used by God for his glory, it is similar to disobeying God, putting your own desires and wants before his. In the morning when you start your day, let him into your life, into your heart and allow him to be over your day. When you allow God to rule over your day, letting him guide you and move in you, every single thing that you do will permeate with the presence of God.